Olympic Curling. Four More Years!

Well, curling (the kind the majority of humanity will keep up with) ended today with domination by Canada over the Scotsmen. Gorram Canadians. Here’s how fantasy curling ended, with a surprise result!

Team Name Total Score Avg Shot % Score Rank Shot Rank Score/Game
Sweep Sweep Beer
184 80.3 4 6 10.2
         
         
Bitches Love Brooms
187 82.6 2 3 10.4
         
         
Lo Mein and Meatballs
171 83.2 5 2 9.5
         
         
She’s a Biter
188 78.8 1 8 10.4
         
         
Curly Broom Hair
186 84.4 3 1 10.3
         
         
Got Stoned and Swept Like a Baby
140 82.6 9 3 7.8
         
         
I’m Sweeping with the Swedish Women’s Curling Team
152 76.5 6 10 8.4
         
         
The Aptly Named, Sir Not Appearing in This League
152 79.8 6 7 8.4
         
         
Getting My Rocks Off
149 81.3 8 5 8.3
         
         
Team ‘Merica
111 77.9 10 9 6.2
         
         

Top 3 teams were a point away from one another! Lessons learned:

1) Don’t let anyone pick the US next time, cause I think all teams should root for the super-underdog. 2) Top 5 teams put up the top 5 scores. Maybe cutting down on teams to 6-8 would let more in on the good teams. With 6 teams, maybe 3 countries a piece. Maths may happen.

Overall, curling was pretty entertaining as it usually is. Gold medal game left a lot to be desired from both sexes, but watching pros at their sport go to town (ex. Canadians on ice with disc objects) is something to behold. Here’s hoping the next olympics are just as entertaining for those of us who like watching ice rock bocci.

Fantasy/Olympic Curling: Day Before the Last One

Man have I been lazy. Or maybe in a drunken stooper after the US mens loss to Russia by about an inch. But here are the standings before tomorrow morning’s god-awfully early finale to the Round Robin of curling. Also known as the last day of fantasy olympic curling for about 4 years.

Team Name Total Score Avg Shot % Score Rank Shot Rank Score/Game
Sweep Sweep Beer
167 80.5 1 6 10.4
         
         
Bitches Love Brooms
163 82.5 2 4 10.2
         
         
Lo Mein and Meatballs
152 83.6 5 2 10.1
         
         
She’s a Biter
153 78.5 4 8 10.2
         
         
Curly Broom Hair
158 84.1 3 1 9.9
         
         
Got Stoned and Swept Like a Baby
128 82.7 8 3 8.0
         
         
I’m Sweeping with the Swedish Women’s Curling Team
129 76.6 7 10 8.1
         
         
The Aptly Named, Sir Not Appearing in This League
120 79.4 9 7 8.0
         
         
Getting My Rocks Off
140 80.8 6 5 8.2
         
         
Team ‘Merica
106 78.3 10 9 6.6
         
         

This all gets very interesting as Sweep Sweep Beer’s Canada (M) are finished, but his Japan (W) have two games to help keep him at the top with his fair sized but tenuous hold at the top. Bitches Love Brooms’ Sweden (W) and China (M) each have a game left. Lo Mein and Meatballs’ Sweden (M) has a game while his China (W) have a whole 2 left, making him a favorite. I say he’s a favorite because the most interesting team left vying for the top, She’s a Biter, has 2 games left for GB (W) and one left for Denmark (W)- and they play each other for their last game! In terms of scoring, that can really kill him unless it goes to Extra Ends with a high-scoring affair.

In pure curling commentary, China (M) has come back to earth simultaneously with Canada (M) re-exerting their muscle on the games since their slow start to the games to nab a playoff spot with consistently good Sweden (M). The US (M) are out, but their performance this time around was much better than in ‘Couver (I know it isn’t saying much), and I think US curling overall will benefit from these games- especially once I get my curling legs here in Jersey starting this Saturday! Now all that is left is for GB, China, and Norway to battle for the last 2 spots of the playoffs.

In the womens bracket, Canada is still un-effing-fair. Sweden has also clinched a spot in this gender. Outside the US who blew harder than any team in these games, and the newly-appearing South Korea, it’s a free-for-all for the last two spots.

 

Tomorrow looks like as good a day as any to watch some curling and send off fantasy curling with a bang.

Fantasy/Olympic Curling, Days 2 and 3/9

After a day off from posting about this glorious sport I’m back for some crappy analysis. First, the fantasy scores:

 

Team Name Total Score Avg Shot % Score Rank Shot Rank Score/Game
Sweep Sweep Beer
74 80.8 2 7 10.6
         
         
Bitches Love Brooms
75 82.5 1 3 10.7
         
         
Lo Mein and Meatballs
55 83.8 8 2 9.2
         
         
She’s a Biter
48 77.3 9 9 8.0
         
         
Curly Broom Hair
64 85.7 7 1 9.1
         
         
Got Stoned and Swept Like a Baby
71 82.3 4 4 8.9
         
         
I’m Sweeping with the Swedish Women’s Curling Team
65 74.6 5 10 9.3
         
         
The Aptly Named, Sir Not Appearing in This League
65 81.3 5 6 9.3
         
         
Getting My Rocks Off
72 81.4 3 5 9.0
         
         
Team ‘Merica
45 78.2 10 8 6.4
         
         

Sweep Sweep Beer is being led by the always epic Canada (M) and the surprising strong Japan (W) while Bitches Love Brooms has the fairly decent Sweden (W) but the strong-starting China (M). Which leads me to some analysis on the games.

Team USA (M) won one! Against the team that beat Sweden (M). Leaving me questioning what Mens team is the best. Right now, Norway and China are up there, but Canada and Sweden are still great. Hell, most of that field has the possibility of making the 4 team playoffs for the gold. If Schuster can keep up the good skipping and shooting from today, they have a chance to not only not finish in the basement but make a run for the playoffs.

Womens is the story of how epic the Canadians are and how god awfully terrible the Mericans are, much to the chagrin of Team ‘Merica, the only team of ours that currently looks like it’s got no chance at the [trophy to be named and built eventually].

Be sure to follow along here on our Google Spreadsheet.

Fantasy Curling, Day 1/8

Here are my thoughts on today’s draws and our standings from Day 1 (not yet in order):

Team Name Total Score Avg Shot % Score Rank Shot Rank Score/Game
Sweep Sweep Beer
19 7 9.5
Bitches Love Brooms
23 82 5 11.5
Lo Mein and Meatballs
25 83.5 4 8.3
She’s a Biter
12 73.5 9 6.0
Curly Broom Hair
30 87.75 1 10.0
Got Stoned and Swept Like a Baby
28 82.5 2 9.3
I’m Sweeping with the Swedish Women’s Curling Team
22 70 6 11.0
The Aptly Named, Sir Not Appearing in This League
19 7 9.5
Getting My Rocks Off
28 78 2 9.3
Team ‘Merica
10 74 10 5.0

A few people haven’t had teams play yet, so those standings are pending. I’ve included here points per game to give people an idea of how their teams are performing given the draw set-up of the round robin.

Some of my thoughts on today’s day of curling:

-Elephant in the room: Team America (both) sucked it today. Women got spanked while the Men got outplayed by the crazy pants (and a bit of Shuster still not cutting it). But I have hope yet!

-Sweden (M) took the day by storm, while Canada (M) recorded a loss on their second draw. GB (M) came out firing only to get stomped by Sweden. Is Sweden the dark horse this year? Or just off to a quick start? This week will tell.

Fantasy Curling: Draught Night

That’s right folks, Fantasy Curling is right around the corner! Here’s how me and 9 of my buddies fared in our draft. It was a random order of 10 teams picking from a pool of 20 Olympic teams from either gender in a serpentine style. Here’s how our completely random, hell of a fun time draft ended up:

Do the Sochi Sweep!

Draft Picks Peeps Team Name Country 1 Country 2
1, 20 Jackson Sweep Sweep Beer Canada (M) Japan (W)
2, 19 Steve Bitches Love Brooms Sweden (W) China (M)
3, 18 Tim   Sweden (M) China (W)
4, 17 Alex   Great Britain (W) Denmark (W)
5, 16 Ryan Curly Broom Hair Canada (W) Switzerland (M)
6, 15 K Ris Got Stoned and Swept Like a Baby Great Britain (M) Russia (W)
7, 14 K Walt I’m Sweeping with the Swedish Women’s Curling Team Switzerland (W) Germany (M)
8, 13 Kyle   South Korea (W) Denmark (M)
9, 12 Pat Getting My Rocks Off Russia (M) Norway (M)
10, 11 Alan Team ‘Merica United States (W) United States (M)

As you can see we still have hilarious names to add, but I’m a fan of all I’ve seen so far. Wish me luck with my Scotsmen and my Russian Dolls (Like I need it, the Russian girls were a steal and the Men’s of GB I think will be second only to the Canadian Men, if at all).

I’ll be keeping a daily recap here on For S and G, I have no doubt other commentators will as well. All progress of this inaugural year of Fantasy Olympic Curling will be kept on this spreadsheet:Fantasy Curling Tracker

Now to wait til the 10th… Remember all you watching at home, SSSWWWWEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEPPPPP!!!