Well, curling (the kind the majority of humanity will keep up with) ended today with domination by Canada over the Scotsmen. Gorram Canadians. Here’s how fantasy curling ended, with a surprise result!

Top 3 teams were a point away from one another! Lessons learned:

1) Don’t let anyone pick the US next time, cause I think all teams should root for the super-underdog. 2) Top 5 teams put up the top 5 scores. Maybe cutting down on teams to 6-8 would let more in on the good teams. With 6 teams, maybe 3 countries a piece. Maths may happen.

Overall, curling was pretty entertaining as it usually is. Gold medal game left a lot to be desired from both sexes, but watching pros at their sport go to town (ex. Canadians on ice with disc objects) is something to behold. Here’s hoping the next olympics are just as entertaining for those of us who like watching ice rock bocci.

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Man have I been lazy. Or maybe in a drunken stooper after the US mens loss to Russia by about an inch. But here are the standings before tomorrow morning’s god-awfully early finale to the Round Robin of curling. Also known as the last day of fantasy olympic curling for about 4 years.

This all gets very interesting as Sweep Sweep Beer’s Canada (M) are finished, but his Japan (W) have two games to help keep him at the top with his fair sized but tenuous hold at the top. Bitches Love Brooms’ Sweden (W) and China (M) each have a game left. Lo Mein and Meatballs’ Sweden (M) has a game while his China (W) have a whole 2 left, making him a favorite. I say he’s a favorite because the most interesting team left vying for the top, She’s a Biter, has 2 games left for GB (W) and one left for Denmark (W)- and they play each other for their last game! In terms of scoring, that can really kill him unless it goes to Extra Ends with a high-scoring affair.

In pure curling commentary, China (M) has come back to earth simultaneously with Canada (M) re-exerting their muscle on the games since their slow start to the games to nab a playoff spot with consistently good Sweden (M). The US (M) are out, but their performance this time around was much better than in ‘Couver (I know it isn’t saying much), and I think US curling overall will benefit from these games- especially once I get my curling legs here in Jersey starting this Saturday! Now all that is left is for GB, China, and Norway to battle for the last 2 spots of the playoffs.

In the womens bracket, Canada is still un-effing-fair. Sweden has also clinched a spot in this gender. Outside the US who blew harder than any team in these games, and the newly-appearing South Korea, it’s a free-for-all for the last two spots.

Tomorrow looks like as good a day as any to watch some curling and send off fantasy curling with a bang.

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After a day off from posting about this glorious sport I’m back for some crappy analysis. First, the fantasy scores:

Sweep Sweep Beer is being led by the always epic Canada (M) and the surprising strong Japan (W) while Bitches Love Brooms has the fairly decent Sweden (W) but the strong-starting China (M). Which leads me to some analysis on the games.

Team USA (M) won one! Against the team that beat Sweden (M). Leaving me questioning what Mens team is the best. Right now, Norway and China are up there, but Canada and Sweden are still great. Hell, most of that field has the possibility of making the 4 team playoffs for the gold. If Schuster can keep up the good skipping and shooting from today, they have a chance to not only not finish in the basement but make a run for the playoffs.

Womens is the story of how epic the Canadians are and how god awfully terrible the Mericans are, much to the chagrin of Team ‘Merica, the only team of ours that currently looks like it’s got no chance at the [trophy to be named and built eventually].

Be sure to follow along here on our Google Spreadsheet.

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That’s right folks, Fantasy Curling is right around the corner! Here’s how me and 9 of my buddies fared in our draft. It was a random order of 10 teams picking from a pool of 20 Olympic teams from either gender in a serpentine style. Here’s how our completely random, hell of a fun time draft ended up:

As you can see we still have hilarious names to add, but I’m a fan of all I’ve seen so far. Wish me luck with my Scotsmen and my Russian Dolls (Like I need it, the Russian girls were a steal and the Men’s of GB I think will be second only to the Canadian Men, if at all).

I’ll be keeping a daily recap here on For S and G, I have no doubt other commentators will as well. All progress of this inaugural year of Fantasy Olympic Curling will be kept on this spreadsheet:Fantasy Curling Tracker

Now to wait til the 10th… Remember all you watching at home, SSSWWWWEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEPPPPP!!!

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