Fantasy/Olympic Curling: Day Before the Last One

Man have I been lazy. Or maybe in a drunken stooper after the US mens loss to Russia by about an inch. But here are the standings before tomorrow morning’s god-awfully early finale to the Round Robin of curling. Also known as the last day of fantasy olympic curling for about 4 years.

Team Name Total Score Avg Shot % Score Rank Shot Rank Score/Game
Sweep Sweep Beer
167 80.5 1 6 10.4
Bitches Love Brooms
163 82.5 2 4 10.2
Lo Mein and Meatballs
152 83.6 5 2 10.1
She’s a Biter
153 78.5 4 8 10.2
Curly Broom Hair
158 84.1 3 1 9.9
Got Stoned and Swept Like a Baby
128 82.7 8 3 8.0
I’m Sweeping with the Swedish Women’s Curling Team
129 76.6 7 10 8.1
The Aptly Named, Sir Not Appearing in This League
120 79.4 9 7 8.0
Getting My Rocks Off
140 80.8 6 5 8.2
Team ‘Merica
106 78.3 10 9 6.6

This all gets very interesting as Sweep Sweep Beer’s Canada (M) are finished, but his Japan (W) have two games to help keep him at the top with his fair sized but tenuous hold at the top. Bitches Love Brooms’ Sweden (W) and China (M) each have a game left. Lo Mein and Meatballs’ Sweden (M) has a game while his China (W) have a whole 2 left, making him a favorite. I say he’s a favorite because the most interesting team left vying for the top, She’s a Biter, has 2 games left for GB (W) and one left for Denmark (W)- and they play each other for their last game! In terms of scoring, that can really kill him unless it goes to Extra Ends with a high-scoring affair.

In pure curling commentary, China (M) has come back to earth simultaneously with Canada (M) re-exerting their muscle on the games since their slow start to the games to nab a playoff spot with consistently good Sweden (M). The US (M) are out, but their performance this time around was much better than in ‘Couver (I know it isn’t saying much), and I think US curling overall will benefit from these games- especially once I get my curling legs here in Jersey starting this Saturday! Now all that is left is for GB, China, and Norway to battle for the last 2 spots of the playoffs.

In the womens bracket, Canada is still un-effing-fair. Sweden has also clinched a spot in this gender. Outside the US who blew harder than any team in these games, and the newly-appearing South Korea, it’s a free-for-all for the last two spots.


Tomorrow looks like as good a day as any to watch some curling and send off fantasy curling with a bang.

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